melt it off allergy

I was rummaging around my Gmail's spam box, checking to see if it had filtered some important non-spam into the box (it didn't), when an odd subject line caught my eye:

melt it off allergy

This isn't funny in-and-of itself, you need to hear it as my brain was reading it off to me:

Say it commandingly, matter-of-factly, and with energy, like an infomercial salesperson would say it, and as if the message was addressed to a man named Allergy: "Melt it off, Allergy!"

My interest piqued, I open the message:

want skinny? lymphoma

...What?! I pondered this for a moment.
Let me get this straight: Instead of selling me pills, their mode of weight loss is disease? They never even told me anything was for sale, so I thought it was just friendly advice.

Nope. It turns out the hyperlink that (was) contained in these next lines points me to the store:

A
whats new with you boyfriend

Of course! It was so obvious! What really hurts, though, is that the store wasn't peddling lymphoma, as the email led me to believe, but rather Meta Gen, a pill that has nothing to do with disease. Probably.

Finally, the email concludes with a rather deep philosophical message:

Perhaps the feelings that we experience when we are in love represent a normal state. Being in love shows a person who he should be

Mmm... how true. It's as true today as when it was written.

By the way, I did look up lymphoma. I looked at a certain, non-cancerous* version known as Hodgkin's Disease, which can, in fact, have the symptom of weight loss, and can also include low-grade fever, night sweats, itchy skin, or fatigue. From what I'm reading, it's among the better of diseases to have, if one is in the need for shedding those extra pounds, without worring about proper diet or exercise. Hey, it even gives the user an excuse to not exercise; he's fatigued!

Update!
* Correction: I misread the line. It turns out that Hodgkin's Disease IS cancerous. Whoops. Totally wrong on my part. Taking this new fact into account, I've decided to retract my statement that you should get Hodgkin's Disease, for weight loss at least.

You guys are awesome

Hey, just wanted to say thanks to Shayne and Paul for letting me stay in your guys' room, and to everyone else for hanging out with me and having fun and stuff.

Oh, and Jessie, seems you have a fan in Newport News, VA.



I thought it was funny

Pool Hours

M-F: 12:30-1:20
M-TH: 4:30-6:20
F: 4:30-5:45
S&S:1:00-3:20

This is in case I lose my post-it note that has this vital information. Oh and we're gonna try to go swimming sometime this weekend.

Google Talk

google talk not as kewl as trillian but its neat in itself

new computer specs oh yeah

my new computer.... just ordered my parts yeaturday!

ATI RADEON 9800PRO 256M AGP - video card

DDR CRSR 512MB X2 KIT|VS1GBKIT400 - gig of ram

HDD MAXTOR|16M EIDE 7200 6L200R0 - 200 gig HD

MB CHTECH ULi M1689 S1689 - mobo

CPU AMD 64 |3000 ATHLON 64 939P RT - CPU 1.8Ghz (but preforms as well as a 2.8Ghz p4)

NEC 16X DVDRW DL ND-3540A BLACK RT - DL dvd burner

CASE POWMAX|CP0327PL-4 400W WINDW - bad ass case

there you go this is the biebs bad ass computer oh yeah .....

Recovering from Vacation

We're back! And for those of you who didn't realize it, my family was on vacation last week. Vacation meaning: lots of driving through empty, desolate lands (Nebraska), talking to lots of old people I didn't know (Mom's relatives), eating LOTS of food (Grandma's cooking), a trip to the mountains, seeing even more relatives, and other random stuff I can't seem to remember right now. I think shopping was involved at one time as I seem to have procured two pairs of shoes and sundry other items. Ooops.
Well that's all, except for this one last thing: Dad was just looking in the phone book and discovered someone with the last name of Batman. How cool is that? Of course, in reality it would kind of suck. Ms. Jessie Batman. It just doesn't go (sigh).
Oh and I'm moving up on Thursday morning. I think.

My Tire Died

First my starter stops working in my truck (somewhat ironic), and now my tire broke, so now I have to get it replaced. Though I'm lucky none of this happened on my trip to Va. And we're moving to a new apartment friday and all too. Well, good thing it happened now I guess. I'm going to be so poor.

Do YOU believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster?

to reverse global warming, we need to recruit more pirates.

Greetings from Virginia

Hey, I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for being there for me when I needed you guys. I'm doing great and enjoying Virginia. Hope you all are doing good as well.

By the way, just in case no ones heard, they found a new planet in our solar system, its bigger than Pluto, and has about the same surface. Its about 97 times farther than earth is from the sun.

Jessie is returning to campus. Eventually.

2 weeks until the dorms open! I bet you guys are counting down the days until I get back.... ;)

training and a zoo

well im leaving again for a few days ...im going to omaha nebraska for the next three dayz im also goign to get to go to the zoo while im there i plan on taking alot of photos .....