Rant on Hippies

Before I go into the rant, first I want to present the back story. A few years ago I made a blog post, but thinking it was too long already, I cut out a fairly lengthy section on the problems with hippies, but I saved it in case I wanted to publish it later. There. Back story: accomplished.
[Be forwarned: I finished reading through it myself, just now. Don't expect it to make much sense. Or laughter for that matter. Enjoy!]

The Rant

Why is it that hippies can defend the life of a really old and huge plant, such as a tree (or, ahem, several thousand acres of them, anyways), but when it comes to a smaller, more defenseless plant, like cannabis, they can't hack it up and smoke it fast enough? I haven't completely crunched the numbers yet, or, for that matter, at all, but for every tree cut down, approximately 83.11 poor innocent cannabises have their lives stripped away for the people living in Ontario alone. Of course, we're talking Canadian rates here, so it's about 52.9 U.S., which is still a bunch.

Now, let's not get bogged down with "facts" here, such as it takes the average redwood 20 years to grow 20 meters (that's 20 metres, to everyone else that doesn't follow American splelling, which is always, 103% infallible. Remember that.), while it takes less time for the average cannabis plant to grow to its maturity, probably. Or that many more innocent plant lives are lost in the form of corn for cattle. No sir, it's the fact that they're killing, and that they are hypocrites, each and every one.

If hippies were truly concerned for the earth, then they would learn how to live off of air and join the Breatharianism cult. Or maybe become a level 5 vegan. As long as their lifespan is cut horribly short somehow, then I'm happy.

Don't get me wrong again, but the Earth is awesome. I don't know where we'd be without her. Probably floating somewhere in space. And we are but one people living on this 57,500,000 sq. mi. island, most of it underwater, which isn't really island in that sense but I'm being figurative here. If we all do our part and shut our computers off for at least a few hours, close the refrigerator door when not in use, and drive our cars to work which is seven blocks away with our A/C on low instead of on high, then we just might make it until the sun dies and we move to another planet, far far away.