I tell ya... this is a great time to be alive. Excitement is what I'm verbally exuding, man! I love it so much.
What I'm talking about is hygiene; smelling good to be specific. It used to be so boring for me, but that was before my life was turned upside-down by what some people call "coordinating." That is, using products with a specific theme throughout. And ladies and gentlemen, I believe I've finally found my coordinating theme for cleaning products: delicious, delicious food. I'm all for it! Let me explain it further so everyone reading this article will be fully weirded out.
It all started with Suave Naturals Vanilla & Sugar Shampoo. I then found out about it's conditioner counterpart. It doesn't stop there! I eventually went looking in the toothpaste deparment, and I found Crest Vanilla Mint, along with some Listerine Vanilla Mint mouthwash! I had been using this combination successfully for quite awhile, it made me happy. I always looked forward to shampooing. But something was missing...
But today, shopping at Wal-Mart, I believe I've finally found the missing puzzle piece! That's right: I found the body soap Body Essence Sweet Vanilla Cream. I can only assume that they put a picture of a woman on the webpage featuring that product because that is what it attracts: Women. It attracts them because they are hungry. It makes sense to me, and you can keep your thoughts to yourself if you think otherwise. In any case, I just purchased the product today, so I remain hopeful that this thing is the answer I've been dreaming for. Wow, I need a life.
Eventually this got me thinking about that one Twilight Zone episode with the cookbook. Then they sort of did the same thing on The Simpsons but not really. So maybe I'm not really getting myself clean at all, but in fact I'm making myself into a tasty treat for our alien overlords who have somehow invaded and taken over the hygiene product world.
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Delicious Cleaning
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4 comments:
hmmmm. That is all I have to say to that.
Shayne, ravenous women are going to descend on you...and eat you. Like a big, delicious, vanilla-scented cookie. If I were you, I would add a protective layer of pepper spray. Or maybe a dash or two of cayenne pepper. Just so you don't end up like the chomped-up comic relief in a bad zombie movie.
BTW, did you know you can get flavored Chapstick, too? I think "vanilla mint" would fit well with your current regimen.
Whoas! Many years ago I had tried a flavored chapstick that seemed to be of chocolate. However, when I actually _tasted_ it, it wasn't so good. Odd.
Once my sister got a flavored chapstick and told me to try it so I took a bite out of it. It tasted like wax and gross, and my sister just laughed at me.
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