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... As I was driving down the empty highway that night, I looked back on the events that transpired that day. The thoughts were running through my mind like water running through a broken toilet.

It started like any other day. Except this time, I was tied to a wooden chair, and I was missing a sock. My whole head felt like it had been used to clog up a wood chipper. Everything was fuzzy, like a cat that had taken a ride in the clothes dryer.
"Good morning. So I guess you've smelled the Folger's coffee brewing?"
The man was built like a gorilla, with a face to match. For the record, it wasn't the coffee grounds that wore me up, it was his sweaty armpit smell. Man did he stink. Anyways, it was my turn to talk:
"Cut the niceties. I want my MTV."
"What?"
"Sorry, I'm still a little dizzy. I want to know what's going on."

"There'll be time for that later," he started in. "Right now I'm asking the questions. Are you interested in switching your long distance provider?"
"What?"
"Sorry, I used to be a telemarketer for MCI. Who are you working for?"
I had no idea what he was talking about. "Listen, bud, you've got the wrong guy. I live on welfare."

"What? Aren't you Stevey Wonder?"
"Are you blind and retarded, man? I'm Shayne Riley."
"I was wondering why you were white and had the ability to see," he said. "Sorry, I'm a little dyslexic. For your inconvenience, here's a coupon for a dollar off at our casino's buffet."

I ended up having a great time at that casino, and with the dollar I saved, I gambled on roulette and won $30,000 and a car, and I bought a new pair of socks at the gift shop. It's a classy joint, I wouldn't mind going back again...

Ok, that didn't really happen, I just did a bunch of busy work today. Put some dammerdikers (Hard to explain, the implements are used to help water get to the roots of irrigated corn) onto a couple 8630's, and THIS time, I didn't back into a building. I tell ya, things are looking up!